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For men, ambition is seen as a complement. For women to be ambitious, it is seen as a negative. Tory Burch wants to change this. The Tory Burch Foundation, which aims to empower women entrepreneurs, hosted its inaugural Embrace Ambition Summit in New York City to support women’s ambition.
To advance in your career, you have to have ambition. You have to lean in to your ambition. Don’t hold yourself back. Here are five ways to feel more comfortable owning your ambition:
1. Stop worrying about what other people think.
“I am so tired of women having to limit themselves and their ambition because they’re afraid of what somebody else might think,” says Tory Burch. “Women aren’t the problem. Our attitudes are.” The fashion designer and businesswoman says to stop saying “sorry” and stop apologizing for believing in yourself and your ideas.
Sometimes, you have to put you first. Comedians Keegan-Michael Key and Maysoon Zayid reveal that one of their secrets to success is focusing on their voice first and what they want to express and not letting their audience stifle their thought process.
Focus on you and living your life, not the life others want or think you should live. Don’t live a life that is anything but yours.
2. Embrace discomfort.
Laurie Fabiano, president of the Tory Burch Foundation, says that we must “disrupt our own thinking…stretch out of our comfort zones, dig deep and be so bold in our thinking that it scares us. Because that’s when change happens - when we deconstruct the norms that we cling to.”
Being ambitious is wanting to do what others have not done and go where others have not gone before. New territory is not always easy to navigate. Fabiano’s words reminded me of a quote I heard recently by writer Joseph Campbell: “If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.”
Change is not easy. Change can be uncomfortable, and the feeling of discomfort is when you know you are moving beyond the status quo and closer to enacting change.
3. Don’t let people who overestimate their abilities steal opportunities from you.
Dr. Valerie Purdie Greenaway, a professor at Columbia University, points to research showing that men overestimate their abilities in STEM subject areas, even when their grades show different.
Speak up. Don’t allow other people’s confidence to dilute your ability to shine light on your competence. Don’t let other people’s loudness silence your ambition.
4. Pick something, not everything.
Actress Zoey Deutch reveals that she can feel overwhelmed with what is going on in the world and not knowing how to contribute to society. Deutch recounts hearing activist Gloria Steinem say, “You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”
To make an impact, you do not have to do everything. Ambition is not about how much you can do. Ambition is about what you do. Focus on quality over quantity. Pick something, and commit to it.
5. Let curiosity lead you.
Ambitious people are curious people. Journalist Katie Couric says that curiosity “opens doors.” “Ask questions,” she says.
Questions demonstrate interest, and listening demonstrates a willingness to understand. People want to be understood. People want to feel they are interesting. Ask questions to learn and open yourself up to possibilities.
Ambition is not a dirty word. Pick something to go after, stop worrying about what others think, embrace the discomfort and your ability and let curiosity lead you.
What helps you to embrace your ambition? Share with me your stories and thoughts via Twitter or LinkedIn.
